IN ANY SITUATION WE CAN CHOOSE. WE CAN ALWAYS CHOOSE… WHILE WE DO NOT ALWAYS ACT IN ACCORDANCE WITH THIS PREMISE
We say “I have to go to work”, “I have to go to the five”, “I have to go get the children to school when you leave work,” “I have to finish a report”. Always “have to”. It is obligatory or we choose it? It is not so obvious as it seems. Language is never innocent. I am convinced that language creates reality, and whenever our mind and our mouths out one “have that” are laminated a few grams of our self-esteem.
I’m amazed inside whenever I hear that someone at work tells me that “it has not been able” to finish a task for lack of time, or that it has gone very overwhelmed and “is it has not” look yet that report. I think: “what you did today at 5 in the morning?”. I gave that not you looked it you, directly, either you have descent looking at you it, but you do not show as a victim of the system saying that you could not, because in the end you just believing that you are a prisoner of circumstances, and it is not true.
Whenever we respond with a “is that…”, with a “can’t”, or a “have to”, we are making “small” mentally and physically. If we want to grow in self-esteem, responsibility, personal and professional freedom, let’s talk accordingly, because if not, we will not act accordingly.
We are where we want to (always), and we do what we do in every moment, because we want it. The era of slavery already ended long ago. If you are now reading this blog is because you want to, and if not you are reading it, also. Let us excuses. There are two ways to approach any situation: as a victim or as responsible. Each choose and acts accordingly, and obtains the results consistent with its approach. The resentment to forgiveness. The complaint, to the claim. The “let”, to the “do so do it?”. The resignation, serene ambition. Action, reaction. The problem, to the challenge. Tolerance, acceptance (frankly it is told that the couple “to tolerate” that you “accept”). Fancy, to the request for feedback. Of passivity, to proactivity. From the outside, inside. Of the others, yourself. Follow the flock, to take the road less travelled… Victim, person in charge.
Stephen Covey says that in any circumstance of life in which we participate, we are surrounded by two concentric circles and we are in its central point: the circle of influence (CI) and the circle of concern (CP). That depends on me and what not. The circle of influence, which is the us closer and which initially are, includes any actions or decisions that matter to us and which depend exclusively on us: what will we do in the next minute, that we will say at the meeting this afternoon, as we face the visit in the morning to house the customer, etc. Sometimes it is a small circle, but it is never absent.
The circle of concern includes all actions or decisions that also important to us but not dependent completely from us. CP is usually much larger and we placed many of our thoughts and desires our attention basic: customers buying decisions, the evolution of the market, the general economic situation, the opinion of our col•laboradors, etc. is what percentage of our daily thoughts in each of the circles? The responsibility is focusing solely on the possibilities that depend on one’s own: is to live mentally in the CI. The big secret is that, when one devotes its efforts at CI, this will expand how by magic, and increasingly is larger and can match the CP. It would be the same analogy as “address” or “pre – deal”. Depends on us, and never better. Train yourself to identify if every thought we have belongs to the circle of influence or the circle of concern.
If things sometimes don’t go you well, either in the middle of a meeting, or in our relationship with co-workers or our superior and we are really committed to remedying this situation, it is not useful to worry about what they do or do not make the others: do it, even if it is a small step, which may seem insignificant or not very useful , but do it. After the first ten seconds, we apply the rule in the ten seconds following, and so on. We give the most of ourselves in the following immediate thing we do, without thinking about the apparent little effect that may have on the final outcome. This is said to be in the circle of influence. This is concentration. This is responsibility. Responsibility is the virtue of the virtues, the most powerful tool that we can use, the master key that opens all doors.
“Fate removes the cards, but we play them” Arthur Schopenhauer
Jordi Besora is the team’s most veteran member after Pau Negre. After earning graduate degrees in Pharmacy and Food Science and Technology, he rounded out his education with an MBA in Food Industry Business Management from the University of Barcelona and a Master’s degree in Corporate Quality Management from the Polytechnic University of Catalonia. He also works as a professional coach and is certified by the International Coach Federation. Jordi tackles every project with his characteristic passion and intensity, whether it involves ISO 9001, the EFQM Model, healthcare accreditation, business process management, OHSAS 18001, strategic plans or benchmarking.